Something I’ve learned as a former Big Law attorney and current career coach for lawyers is:
The stories we tell ourselves shape the careers we build. And when the stories are based on myths, we end up feeling stuck, stressed, and unfulfilled. Maybe even burned out.
Some myths are so common we don’t think to question them. But once we begin to challenge these myths, a new kind of freedom becomes possible.
Freedom to choose differently.
Let’s break a few of these myths down and talk about what’s true.
MYTH #1: “If you don’t enjoy Big Law, you’re not cut out to be a lawyer — and there’s no viable alternative.”
This is one of the damaging myths I hear from lawyers who want to leave Big Law but feel stuck.
Here’s what’s true:
– Big Law is not the only way to practice law.
– Big Law is not typical of all legal jobs.
– The fact that some lawyers enjoy Big Law and perhaps you don’t doesn’t mean you’re less than them in any way.
– Many lawyers find deeply fulfilling work outside of Big Law.
I’ve coached clients who’ve found fulfilling work:
– In-house
– At nonprofits
– In boutique firms
– As a solo practitioner
– In law-adjacent roles
– In entirely new, non-legal careers
You are allowed to evolve. You are allowed to choose differently.
As one of my favorite authors, Yung Pueblo, writes:
“Allow yourself to transform as many times as you need to be fully happy and free.”
MYTH #2: “If I just reach the next milestone — make partner, get promoted, earn the bonus — then I’ll be happy.”
This “if… then…” thinking is one of the most common traps I see in Big Law (and life).
The reality is if we don’t enjoy the day-to-day experience of our work most of the time, no title or paycheck will make up for it. The goalpost keeps moving. And the joy we could be experiencing through work remains out of reach.
One of my coaching clients — a successful equity partner — told me recently:
“I hate this job.”
She had everything she thought she wanted: the title, the salary, the prestige. But the role no longer aligns with who she is and what she wants.
She enjoyed her first decade practicing law. But her day-to-day experience of working as an equity partner is quite different than when she was an associate. She now manages attorneys and client relationships and spends significant time on admin and business development.
And none of these align with her strengths or what brings her a sense of fulfillment in her work.
Plus, she’s evolved. What she wants for her life now in her mid-40s is different from what she wanted in her 20s and 30s.
MYTH #3: “More money = more fulfillment.”
We all need a certain amount of money to support ourselves and our families. But when we make career choices primarily based on money, we often get off course.
More money may require trade-offs that we don’t actually want to make.
When I was considering whether to pursue Big Law partnership, I informally interviewed equity partners I knew to see what their day-to-day experience was like.
When I realized partnership would require trade-offs I was unwilling to make, I chose a senior counsel path instead. And ultimately I chose to pursue my love of coaching and guiding workshops and retreats as my “act two” career.
When making your next career move, consider the trade-offs.
Knowing what matters most to you in your current season of life can help you choose which trade-offs you are willing to make.
MYTH #4: “Chronic stress is just part of the job.”
Chronic stress might be common in Big Law — but that doesn’t make it normal.
Exhaustion, anxiety, and overwhelm are warning signs.
We are designed to respond to acute, short-term stressors, discharge the stress hormones from our bodies through movement, just like others in the animal kingdom, and spend most of our time in a calm state.
In contrast with short-term stress, chronic stress shortens our lifespan and increases our risk of illness.
Research shows that chronic stress is linked to shorter telomeres, which are protective DNA caps at the ends of chromosomes. Shorter telomeres are associated with cellular aging, increased risk of age-related diseases, and reduced lifespan. Chronic stress has been shown to accelerate telomere shortening, potentially leading to earlier onset of age-related illnesses.
So, as we expose the myths for what they are and embrace the truths that can set us free, I want you to know:
– Just because a belief is common doesn’t make it true.
– Just because we’ve believed something for decades doesn’t mean we can’t discard it.
– We get to reevaluate what’s true for us and make choices that align with our truth at any point in our lives.
If this resonates, I’d love to hear from you.
In your corner,
Jessie
The stories we tell ourselves shape the careers we build. And when the stories are based on myths, we end up feeling stuck, stressed, and unfulfilled. Maybe even burned out.
Some myths are so common we don’t think to question them. But once we begin to challenge these myths, a new kind of freedom becomes possible.
Freedom to choose differently.
Let’s break a few of these myths down and talk about what’s true.
MYTH #1: “If you don’t enjoy Big Law, you’re not cut out to be a lawyer — and there’s no viable alternative.”
This is one of the damaging myths I hear from lawyers who want to leave Big Law but feel stuck.
Here’s what’s true:
– Big Law is not the only way to practice law.
– Big Law is not typical of all legal jobs.
– The fact that some lawyers enjoy Big Law and perhaps you don’t doesn’t mean you’re less than them in any way.
– Many lawyers find deeply fulfilling work outside of Big Law.
I’ve coached clients who’ve found fulfilling work:
– In-house
– At nonprofits
– In boutique firms
– As a solo practitioner
– In law-adjacent roles
– In entirely new, non-legal careers
You are allowed to evolve. You are allowed to choose differently.
As one of my favorite authors, Yung Pueblo, writes:
“Allow yourself to transform as many times as you need to be fully happy and free.”
MYTH #2: “If I just reach the next milestone — make partner, get promoted, earn the bonus — then I’ll be happy.”
This “if… then…” thinking is one of the most common traps I see in Big Law (and life).
The reality is if we don’t enjoy the day-to-day experience of our work most of the time, no title or paycheck will make up for it. The goalpost keeps moving. And the joy we could be experiencing through work remains out of reach.
One of my coaching clients — a successful equity partner — told me recently:
“I hate this job.”
She had everything she thought she wanted: the title, the salary, the prestige. But the role no longer aligns with who she is and what she wants.
She enjoyed her first decade practicing law. But her day-to-day experience of working as an equity partner is quite different than when she was an associate. She now manages attorneys and client relationships and spends significant time on admin and business development.
And none of these align with her strengths or what brings her a sense of fulfillment in her work.
Plus, she’s evolved. What she wants for her life now in her mid-40s is different from what she wanted in her 20s and 30s.
MYTH #3: “More money = more fulfillment.”
We all need a certain amount of money to support ourselves and our families. But when we make career choices primarily based on money, we often get off course.
More money may require trade-offs that we don’t actually want to make.
When I was considering whether to pursue Big Law partnership, I informally interviewed equity partners I knew to see what their day-to-day experience was like.
When I realized partnership would require trade-offs I was unwilling to make, I chose a senior counsel path instead. And ultimately I chose to pursue my love of coaching and guiding workshops and retreats as my “act two” career.
When making your next career move, consider the trade-offs.
Knowing what matters most to you in your current season of life can help you choose which trade-offs you are willing to make.
MYTH #4: “Chronic stress is just part of the job.”
Chronic stress might be common in Big Law — but that doesn’t make it normal.
Exhaustion, anxiety, and overwhelm are warning signs.
We are designed to respond to acute, short-term stressors, discharge the stress hormones from our bodies through movement, just like others in the animal kingdom, and spend most of our time in a calm state.
In contrast with short-term stress, chronic stress shortens our lifespan and increases our risk of illness.
Research shows that chronic stress is linked to shorter telomeres, which are protective DNA caps at the ends of chromosomes. Shorter telomeres are associated with cellular aging, increased risk of age-related diseases, and reduced lifespan. Chronic stress has been shown to accelerate telomere shortening, potentially leading to earlier onset of age-related illnesses.
So, as we expose the myths for what they are and embrace the truths that can set us free, I want you to know:
– Just because a belief is common doesn’t make it true.
– Just because we’ve believed something for decades doesn’t mean we can’t discard it.
– We get to reevaluate what’s true for us and make choices that align with our truth at any point in our lives.
If this resonates, I’d love to hear from you.
In your corner,
Jessie
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