Burnout isn’t just about too much work, too much pressure, and too many demands, though these certainly contribute.

Have you ever thought, “a part of me wants to keep working, but a part of me wants to take a break?”

We each have parts inside us that push us to perform, please, and achieve.

Based on my experience practicing law for 15+ years and my work coaching attorneys, I’ve observed that some of the most common and active parts in lawyers are:

• the perfectionist
• the people pleaser
• the procrastinator
• the hyper-achiever
• the over-analyzer
• the inner critic
• the controller
• the micro-manager
• the risk-avoider

These parts developed to help us when we were younger. And while they may cause us anxiety and contribute to burnout, they mean well.

They are not “saboteurs” as they are commonly called. Their intentions are good, even if their impact is not.

Each part has its own perspective on how to keep us safe. These perspectives were formed at the age when each part took on its role.

So, if a part of me took on the role of people pleaser at 12 because that helped me survive a chaotic childhood, this part still has the perspective of 12-year-old me.

If a part of me took on the role of perfectionist at 10 because I was punished if I made a mistake or only praised if I performed perfectly, this part still has the perspective of 10-year-old me.

It doesn’t know how resourceful and capable adult-me is.

Yet.

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Getting to Know Our Parts

We can get to know our parts and they can get to know us.

Who is the “us” that they get to know? Our true Self that is calm, compassionate, and courageous.

First, we get curious. We explore how these parts show up in our work and lives.

• What circumstances cause them to get activated?
• How do they show up in our thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations?
• What is the impact on those around us when these parts take the lead?

We explore what their role is, when they took on this role, and what they believe would happen if they didn’t perform this role.

This gives us insight into how our parts took on these roles, often as a result of a painful or challenging childhood experience.

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What Our Parts Need From Us in Order to Transform

Once we’ve gotten to know our parts, we extend appreciation for how hard they’ve worked.

When our parts feel seen and appreciated, they begin to heal.

When our parts start to trust us to lead, they begin to relax.

This is a path to freedom from perfectionism, procrastination, people pleasing, and the negative self-talk so many of us live with.

I’ve experienced how transformative this approach (known as Internal Family Systems developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz) is in my life, my husband’s life, and the lives of many of my clients. I’m trained in IFS and incorporate this into my coaching work.

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Now I’d Love to Hear From You

What comes up for you reading this? Is this a new perspective on the patterns that cause you trouble?

Are you curious to get to know your parts?

They are waiting for you and would like nothing more than to be relieved of their roles once they come to know and trust the capable and competent person you truly are.

When our parts take on these roles, they are like clouds that obscure the sun. But the sun is always there waiting for the clouds to part. You are the sun.

In your corner,

Jessie